People hate being sold to – they love being consulted

By Dexter Moscow 3 years ago . 3 minute read

Today it is not enough to ‘sell’ by demonstrating your expertise, today you have to be a Master Communicator.  You need to understand not only what your clients, customers and prospects need from a business point of view but also from a personal perspective.

In any situation where you are seeking to influence and persuade people to use your services, buy your products or back your ideas you need to understand their prime motivation for doing so.

People, including us ‘Buy emotionally, decide logically’.

To prove that Golden Rule, think about the biggest purchase you may have made, a house or a car.

Logical or emotional?

The number of rooms in a house dictate the logic but initially but we are bought in because the property feels right or we can visualise our furniture in it.

The engine capacity of a car and number of wheels are important but do we feel comfortable in it, do we feel good sitting in the driving seat. Just look at the storylines behind TV commercials for cars.

In addition to this Golden Rule there is another element to the formulae. – People want to move away from a position of pain to a position of pleasure or in business terms resolution.

It is your job, by asking deeper and more searching question, to help them recognise their pain and to see you as the only one that can resolve their problems.

By so doing you will be seen not as somebody just selling to them but as a person who is sincerely interested in helping them out of a difficult situation that they might not even be aware of.

What right do I have for expounding these principles and others that I will discuss later?

Well I started my business life in advertising working alongside incredibly talented and persuasive people, became an equity partner in multichain estate agency where I trained negotiators how to create lasting relationships and for 16 years was the chief trainer for QVC The Shopping Channel. Last year the turnover was $9 billion worldwide.

I sold £millions worth of product for major corporation live in front of the camera and taught others to do the same. Ostensibly selling to an invisible audience. It was essential therefore that we understood why people buy.

The learning and processes derived from those successful careers I now use to coach executives and sales teams in organisations such as LEGO, Mothercare, the professions and in finance.

The reality check, therefore, is that the key to your personal, financial and company’s success is not in your selling ability but in your ability to positively influence others to be delighted to take the action you desire them to take.

Whether you are networking, pitching or presenting there is another Golden Rule. The 70% – 30% rule. In any situation where you are seeking to influence and persuade a person, they do 70% of the talking you do 30%.

What is your 30%? Asking deeper and more relevant questions to elicit their pain and problems.

There is a caveat however. If you’re not passionate about what you do, how can you make anybody else passionate about what you do?

People have a built-in sense of whether you are being honest and in a world where authenticity is lacking in so many areas, engendering TRUST is the key to it all.

About Dexter Moscow

Founder, Dexter Moscow

Dexter is an expert in influence and persuasion having worked in a Mafia owned advertising agency, as an estate agent and for QVC The Shopping Channel selling £millions to an invisible audience and teaching others how to do the same. He now develops presentations and pitches that win business and financial support for his client’s projects.